1.Modern-day, assurance is scarce.
2.It’s understandable if you take a look at the life of an average adult:
3He goes to school. He lives in a structured environment where there’s a linear relationship with how hard he works and what grades he gets.
4.When he is in college, he also learns to”behave” and be subordinate to nearly everybody else.
6.He’s taught that optimism” comes from the inside” with no external motivator.
7.He spends all his time at work, taking orders from some other individuals.
8.He spends all his free time watching TV and chugging beer with his”friends.”
Now, there is nothing wrong with going to school, but if you notice carefully, you’ll see that the average individual’s life is a life devoid of achievements.
All he knows is how to become subservient to someone else, and”give respect,” without regard to the question that”Does this man deserve my admiration and service or not?”.
(Unrelated: “Listen to your elders” is probably the worst advice you’ll ever receive.)
If you’ve lived a life in which you haven’t shown yourself that you can do something, that you are capable of achieving something, an experience where you obtained a trophy just for participating, what exactly do you have that can provide you confidence in yourself?
Real confidence comes from the outside in. You achieve something, you feel proud; you become confident. You attempt something new. You improve at it. You become more confident. You handle a unique situation. You become more confident.
It comes with practice and preparation, not from a bullshit session on”positive ideas.”
Have you ever noticed that athletes tend to have ridiculous amounts of assurance in social situations? That’s because they’ve had so many wins that a winner’s behaviors become natural to them.
You’re likely to start small and work your way upward. Consider the items and situations you lack confidence inside.
Do you lack confidence in interacting with people in general? Do you lack confidence in your job? Do you lack confidence when approaching somebody of the opposite sex?
Step 1 will probably be figuring out where you’re lacking in because defining the problem comes before making a plan and implementing a solution.
Then you’re going to accumulate small wins in that area. Small wins will provide you the preparation and the assurance you need to aim for big wins.
Exposure and practice.
If you want to learn Tennis, you will not be serving aces on day 1. You’ll start small — you spend some time rallying with the wall, as soon as you’re better, you begin gathering with a human, you then learn to function, and just after rigorous practice, you can perform flawless spins.
Confidence comes from out, not from inside out. This is not a feel-good movie.
The reason people do not have assurance, and instead have anxiety disorders is because they lead a life of futile purposeless relaxation — devoid of any meaningful personal achievements to derive confidence and pride from.
Confidence can be constructed, and anxiety can be disposed of with — but it is going to take exposure and practice.
Small wins lead to big wins.
As you incrementally gain small wins, then you’ll progressively increase the expertise you require for more massive challenges. Practice with small victories, consumer expertise, and newfound confidence to test for big wins.